Pasadena · Relationship Trauma
Relationship Trauma Therapy in Pasadena, CA
Different person, same argument, same feeling in your chest at minute forty.
Book a free consultThe Pattern
It is not bad luck and it is not a type.
People arrive convinced they keep choosing wrong. Usually what is happening is subtler. Early relationships taught you what closeness costs, and you learned to read a room for the first sign of the cost arriving. That reading is fast, accurate about the past, and often wrong about the present.
So you brace, or you over-give, or you leave first. Then the relationship confirms the theory and the theory gets stronger. Naming that loop out loud is usually the first thing that makes it look changeable.
In This City
Long relationships, long commutes, and no time to look at it.
The Pasadena version of this often shows up around year seven, when two capable people have built a life that runs and stopped being able to talk about anything that is not logistics. Or it shows up newly single at 41, sitting in the office saying the last three ended identically.
I work with individuals rather than couples, which surprises people. Doing your own half honestly changes the dynamic more than most joint sessions manage, though it does not guarantee any particular result for the relationship.
Signs This Is Yours
Read it and see.
- You know within a week whether it will end badly, and you are usually right, and that is the problem.
- Conflict either detonates or gets buried, with very little in between.
- You manage other people's moods so automatically you cannot say what your own is.
- You have been told you are too much and too distant by different people, sometimes the same week.
The Work
Attachment, in the plainest possible terms.
We look at what you do when someone gets close, what you do when they pull back, and where each of those was learned. Parts work is useful here because the part that shuts down and the part that chases are usually both trying to protect you, badly. EMDR earns its place on the specific scenes underneath.
The goal is not to become effortlessly secure. It is to notice the old script fast enough to choose something else.
Practical Details
What it costs and how to begin.
Individual sessions are $225 for 50 minutes at 65 N Raymond Ave or over secure video in California. Superbills available, no sliding scale published. Alexa Aversano, LMFT, license CA 140766.
A free 10-minute call is the first step, and it is a real conversation rather than an intake form read aloud.
More on this:Relationship Trauma Therapy · Attachment and Relationship Patterns · The Pasadena Office
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