Attachment and Relationship Patterns
New person. Familiar ending.
Individual therapy for attachment wounds, closeness that feels risky, and the pattern you can already see coming. Pasadena and telehealth across California.
Book a free consultDoes This Sound Like You
Some of this may land.
- You can describe the pattern in detail. Describing it has not stopped it.
- Available people feel boring. Unavailable people feel like chemistry.
- You want to be known and you would rather not be perceived, simultaneously.
- Conflict either ends the relationship in your head or gets swallowed entirely.
- You are the steady one for everybody and it has never once gone the other way.
- Intimacy tends to arrive with a background hum of when is this going to go wrong.
The Work
What the Work Looks Like
Naming the strategy
Anxious pursuit, avoidant distance, or the exhausting alternation between them. These are not character defects. They are strategies that once worked, running long after the situation changed.
Down to the belief
Behavior change without belief change does not hold. We find what you concluded early about closeness and what it costs, and we work there rather than at the level of dating advice.
Parts work
Parts work, for the part that wants to be close and the part that has learned closeness is dangerous. They are both trying to protect you. We get them talking to each other.
The relationship in the room
How you do relationships shows up with me too, and that is useful rather than awkward. It gives us a live place to practice something other than the usual.
What Changes
What Changes
The pull toward the familiar dynamic stops being invisible. You start catching it while it is happening rather than three months in, and catching it is most of the freedom.
Closeness gets less expensive. Not effortless, but no longer something you have to brace for.
This is individual therapy, not couples therapy. The client is you, and the work still changes your relationships.
Come as you are.
A free, confidential ten-minute call. No paperwork, no pressure, and no obligation to book anything afterwards.